That was entirely more wholesome than I was anticipating. A relationship built not on hate but rather love that became warped into expressions of toxic projection. Labilia always respected Rebecca, she just could not find a way to accurately convey such feelings toward Rebecca. The apprehension, expectation, confusion and desire to thank Rebecca converged into a what would become the only way in which Labilia knew how to release herself and that was making content for her B-cuber channel. Labilia never genuinely wanted to hurt Rebecca, she just didn’t know how to go about opening herself up to Rebecca until she finally made peace with the reality of her death.
Labilia has finally opened her heart to Rebecca and released the truth that burdened her for years upon years. It took the prospect of death and being pushed emotionally to the edge before she was able to finally drop her walls and speak what she really wanted. Rebecca was Labilia’s inspiration and the source behind her desire to become a B-cuber. Labilia wanted to be like Rebecca. Over time as Labilia found success, she exceeded Rebecca’s popularity and began to find the positive emotions she once felt for Rebecca turn into confusion and irritation. Because Labilia wanted success as a B-cuber, she projected that Rebecca would be driven by success and numbers too. The natural progression of a public figure became the lens from which Labilia began to see the world. And within this wave of perplexity, the cruel persona of Labilia developed. The simplistic motives driving Rebecca was lost on Labilia who now existed in a different reality. A reality where external factors and manufactured content generating views became the interpretation of a B-cuber’s worth.
As Labilia’s heart found itself buried under layers of superficial success, the words she wanted to exchange with Rebecca were overshadowed by actions and words that became more toxic the higher she rose within the realm of B-cubers. Only after Labilia hit her plateau and met stagnation did her mind find itself relieving some of the weight of success. It found a moment to breath and within that respite, beyond the burden she was carrying, she came to see life in an adjusted perspective. Despite all her success, death still awaited her. Despite all her encounters with Rebecca, she could not express her gratitude. Despite all her thoughts, she could not escape her nature. It was within that reflection that Labilia found acceptance and with it, the resolve to finally open up to Rebecca.
In an ironic sense, while Labilia found inspiration in Rebecca, it was her story and the journey she took that has become the aspect that liberated the relationship existing now between Rebecca and her. Rebecca understands Labilia and has now reached out both hands to not only accept Labilia but offer a path forward on which the two of them can walk on together as friends. Nothing is guaranteed but as Rebecca knows intimately, life is valuable and worth fighting for. Time and possibility will intertwine to cast forward a future Labilia thought was impossible. The tears she shed represents her desire for such a future despite all odds.
With this chapter, Labilia has become a truly fascinating character. The more I begin to think about her story, the more I find myself wondering what was Labilia’s past like? Why was Labilia’s walls up in the first place? Thanking someone should come naturally but what external and internal factors were in play for Labilia during those moments she was with Rebecca? Was it just a natural course for her personality or were surrounding circumstances influential in bringing about such a disconnect with her heart and how open she is toward other people? Labilia’s inability to open her heart up to others unfortunately created the relationship that existed between Rebecca and herself. I suspect that Labilia’s career as a B-cuber influenced the closed personality Labilia has. If Labilia was not extroverted to begin with, which seems to be the case considering how taken aback and mesmerized she was by Rebecca’s outgoing personality, having to market yourself as a public figure and subject yourself to public opinion, one would be putting oneself grossly outside their comfort zone. And usually in such situations, you wear a mask. You close your heart that is concerned about such matters and take on a persona that plays the part. Labilia likely embraced such a role so well that it began to overwhelm the girl that once was starry-eyed by Rebecca. Only after taking a step back and shedding such a persona did Labilia begin to see what she really wanted.
I hope Sister is able to cure Labilia but if Sister isn’t, hope is still not lost. This may be where Holy comes in who could offer a suggestion in how to save Labilia. Whether it has to deal with divine methodology, the supernatural (witchcraft or alchemy) or something more scientific, a way will be opened up for Labilia to cure her incurable disease. She is not destined to die. Now that Holy has agreed to live aboard the Edens Zero while the battle against Ziggy and Deadeye Crow on Lendard is ongoing, she should come to find out about Labilia’s situation. It may take some negotiating but Holy will provide information in how to save Labilia in case Sister is unable. This could be how Saintfire Nox is introduced into the story as the Edens Zero visit them or a church for ways to heal Labilia. Holy isn’t pro-Edens Zero or anti-Edens Zero so it is going to be interesting to see how time aboard the Edens Zero is handled. I’m personally interested in Holy’s character, so I am very much looking forward to the coming chapters!